My Chemical Romance

Craccum, the auckland uni. magazine has come up with some informative 'how to' articles in the past. The most notable for me was the 'how to rob a bank' article. It actually got me thinking that a real bank robber contributed to the mag to make that article. It was very well written.

This week, there was conveniently an article entitled "11 ways to cheat in your exams." I thought alot of you would be interested in this so I decided to post it up here in case you can't get hold of a copy. Beside each tip, I've put my rating out of 10 for effectiveness and maybe a comment in brackets.

1 Sit at the back, in the middle. The exam supervisors are selected from retirement homes and many cannot see more than 10 feet or so. If one falls victim to stroke or infarction, it's even easier (7, funny but probably true. loses marks because if someone had a stroke the exam would probably be cancelled).

2 The obvious toilet visit. Make sure notes are on non-crinkly paper, i.e. no noise, on the inside of your thigh where it's difficult for them to check. Eat wind-producing foods, like beans and onions, to mask activities with your arse-shouting. This may also induce the examiner's retreat.
(9, a classic which always works. bonus marks for the non-crinkly paper tip).

3 Pre-prepare the room with your stuff. Write it into the desk at 7:00AM in the morning, and make sure you get that desk. Or do multiple desks. Chinese characters can easily be mistaken for graffiti. (6, not that great advice because of it's limitations and you need to get up early).

4 Cheat smart - formulas, or quotes complete with line numbers always impress markers. Do it for stuff you find difficult to take away stress. (3, depends on the subject but it's a load of bull).

5 Conceal a receiver in your ear under your long hair. Have someone transmit the necessary information that you have problems remembering. (8, old school showed us you don't need long hair to pull this off).

6 Team cheating. Some of the group should distract the grannies with sexually aggressive flirting, or other misbehaviours, and then others blatantly swap answers. Then it's your turn. Don't get carried away and actually seduce the examiners - as a post-graduate, you will still have to walk around this place. (6, this would work, but remember supervisors aren't under the 'can't have sex with students,' clause that lecturers are).

7 Tattoo the answers onto your skin along with a few skulls and cobwebs. The supervisors will think you've been in jail and will stay well away in case you go on a P-fuelled rampage. (5, that's alot of effort to go to for one exam. at least you wont forget the subject as soon as you leave the exam room).

8 you've discovered that the paper doesn't have the options that you studied. Go out to the toilet and let someone waiting know that the fire-alarm must be pulled immediately. Or light a fire under your desk. The new paper will surely be easier (8, I'm sure this has been done effectively in the past)

9 Use UV sensitive ink and shine a tiny UV LED mounted in a pen onto your arm or hand to see your answers. Ink is available in home security anti-burglary kits. Making the pen would cost time and about $30. (7, loses marks for time and $30).

10 Use another person who has a brain and/or motivation. Make a new student ID with their photo and teach them your signature. This used to be done commonly, especially by asian students who are the most onto-it with this stuff (7, good, but the result is taken out of your hands).

11 Enter the Academic Registry computer system by various means, and award yourself the degree. 75% of hacking is done by password theft. Password security is not a priority with many IT staff who prefer to paste them onto their monitors. (4, I don't like this approach, you need to know your computer stuff well).

12 Learn Braille, and create scabs on your arms and lets. That way you don't have to look - they'll think you're just having a sly rub. (8, two birds with one stone).

13 Print replacement water bottle labels and put the answers on the inside. Hey, even put vodka inside and have a good time, after all, you're going to pass anyway. (10, I've thought of doing this before. bonus marks for the vodka tip.

So that's it. I hope these tips have helped. What I want to know is have any of you cheated before? From cheating on your 3rd grade spelling test to lying in a job interview? I will tell of my experience if I hear from others.

For all you wiki-nuts out there, here is the link so you can master your cheating technique http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_dishonesty

On another side note, I got picked for jury duty. This time it's at the high-court for a 5-week trial. Could it be murder? I don't think murder trials take that long so it could be something exciting. Hopefully I wont get picked and can take the $50 for an hours work.

Now I can get onto today's main topic, Huntsman Corp. There is not much to say, so in the spirit of this article, I'll just copy and paste what it says on wikipedia:

Huntsman Corporation NYSE: HUN is one of the world's largest chemical companies. It was founded in 1982 by Jon Huntsman and remained a private company controlled by the Huntsman family until going public on the New York Stock Exchange with the symbol "HUN" in February of 2005. Huntsman has annual revenues of approximately $11.5 billion, more than 14,000 employees and facilities in more than 24 countries.

I know I could've just given you the link, but plagiarising is better. This article begs the question...what exactly do chemical companies do to make so much money? They obviously aren't involved in the chemical weapons business because they don't make that much, but they surely don't just remove chemicals from factories and what not. They probably just make detergents and other stuff like BAM www.easyoffbam.com This would be a kind of pointless thing to write about because you'll never apply this information to real life. Except maybe if a someone says they'll pick up the next round in a bar. You can then say "speaking of money, did you know Huntsman Corporation, a chemical company had revenues of US$11.5billion last year?" You'll be the talk of the night!